“I like my life, so I’m not complaining. I like where I’ve gotten myself and what I’m doing. But still a part of me is anxious or something and feels like it’s still roaming around because it hasn’t found where it belongs.
“I feel like it’s that thing where you think ‘if only I could be an amazing student and get all A’s…then I’d have it all and I would be happy!’ And then when you have that, you realize that it doesn’t actually make you happy.”
Literally, actually. My sister texted this to me the other day and I realized how much I could relate. I made it through school with fantastic grades. I have a marvelous family. I’m healthy. I have friends, I have food, and I have hobbies. I should be content.
It’s not like I don’t know better. That’s not really the issue. I mean, don’t we all know that things, positions, activities will never fully satisfy? Christians, especially, preach this every Sunday. We know that this life will never fully complete us–no matter what we get or where we go or what we do.
But I’m a saved Christian. A saved Christian with this knowledge. And yet, I still wait for satisfaction–somehow expecting it to be right around the corner. It’s a bit embarrassing.
However, I’m recognizing that, as Christians, it’s important to admit these earthly desires and expectations. If we pretend we’re perfect and never expect things/situations to satisfy, it makes us an unrelatable bunch of oddities. Christians should stand out as oddities (we should live differently), but I’m convinced that we should stand out as relatable oddities. No one will want what we have unless they can relate with us on some level.
So I’ll admit it: I expect to some day find something earthly that satisfies. And I keep impatiently waiting for the day. If it wasn’t the day I graduated school, or got a good job, maybe it’ll be the day I pay off my loans or get married.
I know better, but I forget sometimes.
So this is my reminder: we weren’t made to live on earth forever. If you feel unhappy, dissatisfied, or out of place, it’s because you are–and that’s perfectly okay. There is something more and until we die and leave behind this sinful nature, we’ll never be fully satisfied.
It’s okay to feel that way. And it’s okay to admit it. In the midst of the discontentment, however, remember that we need to stop waiting. Let’s thank God for where we are now and live this moment for what it’s worth.