Hey, buddy. What’s up? I can tell you’re fighting. I can tell I’m flooded with your extreme efforts and suddenly the world feels impossible and I feel not enough and the future seems enough to create second thoughts about even making it to the end of the day.
You are trying to protect me. You’re afraid. You’re afraid that the future is bleak and you don’t want my hope to be crushed. Because that hurts. It’s happened before. You’re working to protect my heart from breaking when I hope in a better relationship, a better future, a better connection with God, but it doesn’t happen.
You’re taking a proactive approach and stopping hope before it can happen. I get it.
Do you fear I will never find joy? Never relate well? Never be enough? Never be accepted? Never find passion? Never understand myself?
I do. I have those fears regularly.
Still, which of those fears is too much for Immanuel–God with us? And I have felt Immanuel! I have felt courage, compassion, clarity, calm, connection, curiosity, creativity, confidence. He is here in me. In me. And I do not have to fear. And when I do fear, I do not have to shame. And when I do shame, I do not have to believe it. And when I do believe it, I am still enough. I still have God in me. I cannot get rid of God.
So Hopelessness. Yeah. It hurts. But come here, buddy. Thanks for trying to protect me. Thanks for fighting so hard for me. Dude, your loyalty is beautiful. And I know you’re scared. What courage you have to fight so hard even when you’re so scared. Wow.
I will always have some God-image in me, so I am safe. I am safe when I feel hopeless.
For now, I will empathize with Hopelessness. For now, I will understand the pain the future can and will bring, and I will appreciate his efforts to keep me from standing up to fall again. I will allow Hopelessness to be. Take it or leave it. It’s who we are together right now.
And one day, one hour, Hopelessness inside me may have opportunity to meet God within me. And we might find hope. But for now I’m going to let that meeting be God’s business. Hopelessness and I are just gonna hang out together, understanding and appreciating each other. You’re welcome to join.