A letter to Hopelessness

black and silver fountain pen

Hey, buddy. What’s up? I can tell you’re fighting. I can tell I’m flooded with your extreme efforts and suddenly the world feels impossible and I feel not enough and the future seems enough to create second thoughts about even making it to the end of the day.

What’s up? What’s going on?

You are trying to protect me. You’re afraid. You’re afraid that the future is bleak and you don’t want my hope to be crushed. Because that hurts. It’s happened before. You’re working to protect my heart from breaking when I hope in a better relationship, a better future, a better connection with God, but it doesn’t happen.

person in spiky ice cave

You’re taking a proactive approach and stopping hope before it can happen. I get it.

Do you fear I will never find joy? Never relate well? Never be enough? Never be accepted? Never find passion? Never understand myself?

I do. I have those fears regularly.

Still, which of those fears is too much for Immanuel–God with us? And I have felt Immanuel! I have felt courage, compassion, clarity, calm, connection, curiosity, creativity, confidence. He is here in me. In me. And I do not have to fear. And when I do fear, I do not have to shame. And when I do shame, I do not have to believe it. And when I do believe it, I am still enough. I still have God in me. I cannot get rid of God.

So Hopelessness. Yeah. It hurts. But come here, buddy. Thanks for trying to protect me. Thanks for fighting so hard for me. Dude, your loyalty is beautiful. And I know you’re scared. What courage you have to fight so hard even when you’re so scared. Wow.

Can I ask if you’d like a vacation? Do you want to give up your fears to God for a minute? He’s not going anywhere, I promise. It’s okay if you’re not ready to relax. I get it.

woman hugging boy on her lap

I will always have some God-image in me, so I am safe. I am safe when I feel hopeless.

For now, I will empathize with Hopelessness. For now, I will understand the pain the future can and will bring, and I will appreciate his efforts to keep me from standing up to fall again. I will allow Hopelessness to be. Take it or leave it. It’s who we are together right now.

And one day, one hour, Hopelessness inside me may have opportunity to meet God within me. And we might find hope. But for now I’m going to let that meeting be God’s business. Hopelessness and I are just gonna hang out together, understanding and appreciating each other. You’re welcome to join.

3 thoughts on “A letter to Hopelessness

  1. OMG BethAnn,
    This is so beautiful. So right on! Immanuel will have us, HIS Bride, see life through the Eyes of Love. I mean everything! My Church upbring would say “war against that evil thing” “cast it out in JESUS Name!” and so on. But dearest friend, you capture the truth of our identity in Christ. We have/are Love! We have/are peace! We have/are His Perfection. You identified the negative emotion. You spoke from the seat of peace, love, and authority. You judged rightly its base motivations of love and courage and protection of you, though misdirected to act out anxiety, fear, hopelessness. You could have been dismissive, quick to shun or throw in the trash, I would’ve. But you lovingly commit to sit with hopelessness empathizing, giving it time and space to work things out for good. Wow, I am in awe of this revelation in you. As JESUS said to Peter, “Jesus replied, “You are favored and privileged Simeon, son of Jonah! For you didn’t discover this on your own, but my Father in heaven has supernaturally revealed it to you.”
    Father has blessed you to bless us your readers (and the world).
    I, for one, am extremely grateful to you, and am a wiser citizen of God’s Kingdom today onward for you efforts.

    Your Believer Friend Forever (BFF)
    Levi

    Like

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