All the time in the world.

analog clock at 12 am

As a teenager, I started this really weird habit of jogging in place in the shower while rinsing my hair. Mostly it was because I was using freezing water in an attempt to save on our electric bill (thanks, 2008 recession… I owe a lot to you…) and had to stay warm somehow, but also because if I could get at least part of a workout in while I was showering, think of how much more productive my shower would be! This is also why I’ve clipped my nails while driving, read books while on the elliptical, written letters in church, and brushed my teeth while sitting on the toilet (some of these are certainly far less advisable than others and just because I mention them does not mean I am condoning them).

Efficiency brings me excitement and the passing of time brings me anxiety. The natural result is multitasking at desperate levels. After all, who has time to accomplish all the things life requires of us? And isn’t every day spent rushing to complete the tasks which we barely finish before another one arises?

And I live certain that joy is just around the corner… when I finally arrive at that place where multitasking and hurried efficiency is fully accomplished and every day I have made a little extra time for myself. When my to-do list is finally done and I am left with no commitments because I have already checked them all off the list.

person clicking Apple Watch smartwatch

Somehow it feels that would be the moment when I have finally found satisfaction and relief in the race of time. Honestly, I sacrifice a lot in pursuit of this goal.

And, in the midst of it–literally–as I was reading a “self-help” book during a cardio workout, I found this thought:

“God gives us time. And who has time for God?

“Which makes no sense.

“In Christ, don’t we have everlasting existence? Don’t Christians have all the time in eternity, life everlasting? If Christians run out of time–wouldn’t we lose our very own existence? If anyone should have time, isn’t it the Christ-followers?”

I have been pondering this since the moment I read–and then reread–it. Wouldn’t I argue too, that Christians have eternity in their future? And what does that mean for my hurried breakfast on the drive to work and three pots on the stove top at the same time?

On the one had, nothing. Nothing! I might have eternity in my future, but I still will not have time to strengthen my muscles if I don’t do calf raises at work, or make a decent dinner if I don’t cut corners and not actually peel the carrots, or write my next blog post if I don’t zone out while my sister is talking with me. So. A lot of good eternity is going to do me if I can’t even get my crap done today! Deadlines are now… not off in forever!

brown-and-white clocks

On the other hand… I do have eternity. And to see from that perspective is to see from a perspective where maybe whether or not my teeth were brushed before I went to class, or my calves were toned, or my nails clipped, or my blog post written is really not of that much significance.

So I’m currently tied up in the middle: my emotions still desperately seeking after the “efficient” multitasking in the search for success, while my mind is trying to pause long enough to question if this busywork is as important as I make it out to be.

Would I live differently if I recognized I had all the time in the world? What about if I had more time than that–because my life continued even after this world stopped? Would that change a single thing I do? Not just in theory, but in real-life action?

Maybe I’ll ponder that while I am at work, finishing up the nightly duties, or while I’m working out, or maybe while I’m writing a blog post. But will I ever stop, stop the rush, and ponder that alone while not doing anything else? Will I live like I have endless time?

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