Living in the land of dreams where you can do whatever you put your mind to, be whoever you chose to be, and pursue the American Dream, to feel dreamless can feel like failure. My lack of direction, dreams, and pursuits has filled me with a steady sense of “not-enough” and “wrong,” whispered (and sometimes shouted) by shame and anxiety on a sometimes-daily basis.
Ben Carson didn’t wishy-washy his way to greatness. Martin Luther King Junior didn’t achieve through average life. Bill Gates didn’t stumble upon success. These people all followed their dreams with a motivation that only comes from having dreams that call your name.
So, clearly, my day-to-day life–focused more on holding back tears in the midst of anxiety as opposed to smiling broadly into mid air while a dream swirls around inside my head–leads me into the life of a failure, as I see it.
So come on, let Me dream, let Me dream for you
I am strong when you’re weak and I’ll carry you
So let go of your plan, be caught by My hand
I’ll show you what I can do
When I dream for you
I have a dream for you
American culture teaches us that to be somebody, we have to have dreams and plans. If we don’t we are headed toward failure.
Maybe that’s not how God thinks.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying God prefers couch potatoes to ambition (though I will be the first to argue that God loves couch potatoes every single bit as much as those ambitious people. I mean, com’on! Are we trying to please God or trust that he loves us as we are?). I’m also not saying “Quit planning.” Often God gives us dreams and when that happens, my friends, you are so right to jump on it!
But God does all things in his timing and maybe today–this year–or even this decade, my lack of plans and direction and confidence in a goal is my greatest asset–as it leaves me open to whatever dreams God is preparing for me.
You know how in the Lego Movie, despite his total and absolute un-impressiveness, Emmett’s completely empty brain is actually an asset? Despite it’s apparent uselessness, his mind’s lack of activity saves him years of trying to empty his brain to become a Master Builder. I’m just thinking–maybe there is some insight there!
I want to be a someone. I want to be seen as ambitious. Sometimes I even think I could impress God if only I had more direction.
But maybe in His lovingkindness, in His wisdom, and in His timing, He is creating fantastic dreams for me all on His own. And maybe, for now, that means resting in his hand and letting him dream for me.
At the end of the day, would it be surprising if resting in God’s dreams for me is what God wants more than me “becoming” somebody by dreaming for myself solo?