Making the Most of Memories: the benefits of Reminiscing

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Memory of going to a “hobo” party with siblings 🙂

July 4th I went to work at the campground as usual (holidays aren’t breaks for campground workers–they are busier actually). Half an hour into my work day, two guys in black ski masks and sun glasses blocking out their eyes snuck into the campground office while I was distracted. I turned around and they grabbed me, blindfolded me, and put me in a car. My mind was racing during the following 40-50 min drive and, aside from a hasty command to remain seated and just wait at the beginning of the ride, nobody in the car spoke during the whole time. 

File:Balaclava 3 hole black.jpgWhen we finally parked, I was pulled out of the car, passed around from person to person at least once or twice, and after what seemed like a very, very long time, the bandanna blindfold was ripped off; I was greeted with a chorus of “Happy Birthday” and a cake with burning candles. 

I spent the day in the company of good friends exploring the ruins of an old cement factory and biking on the North Country Trail. I had a fantastic day and know I will remember the day for a very long time.

Memories are astounding things. But they don’t seem to get the credit they deserve. Experiences that were hard work, cost a lot of money, or are long gone are easily retrievable and re-experienceable and yet we so often forget to take full advantage of this mysterious thing called memory. I would like to encourage you to go back and consider some good memories for multiple reasons:

Memories are a way to stay content

The day after that kidnapping adventure, work was especially slow and boring in comparison. But while I worked, I remembered the happenings of the day before and was forced to smile every so often. Plus, I recognized that the only way adventures like that can happen is if we go through our normal, every day lives most of the time. Thinking about that instead of having a pity party at work helped me to be grateful for what I have instead of bemoaning what I don’t have. When you are bored or discontent, take the time to consider an old memory that will make you smile. I can guarantee it will make you just a little more content in the current situation.

IMG_20170708_153310165_HDRMemories are a way to stay connected with friends

Relationships have a past, present, and future too. As explained in my intriguing post “Relationships in the 3-D,” keeping the past (good memories together) in mind helps to strengthen the present. Remembering old adventures with friends and siblings is a guaranteed way to rejuvenate love and admiration toward others.

Memories help us to keep a good perspective on life

Have you ever been on one of those vacations where everything goes wrong? Or you had an experience with a friend that was just rotten at the time? Our family once watched a terrible movie. It had a lame plot and ended with the family being broken up and doled out because the parents died and the orphans needed homes. It was such a waste of time to watch, and yet, now our family laughs whenever we remind each other of it and we use that waste-of-time experience for good now. Remembering and laughing about those Image result for hippie vankind of situations in the past helps us to keep a better perspective in the present. When you have a hangnail and your eyelid won’t close all the way and have a mosquito biting your nose (but you can’t swat it because your hands are sticky from eating spoiled oranges) and you get a flat on the side of the road and have to hitchhike with a hippie gangster (not a true story and NOT recommended), you’ll be more likely to take it in stride–recognizing in a little while it’ll be over with and just be a memory to laugh at. Rough things have to happen, but they aren’t the end of the world.

Memories are a way to keep in mind what God has done for us

In the book of Exodus we see God doing miraculous sign after miraculous sign after miraculous sign to free the Israelites from their bondage to the Egyptians. And yet, as soon as they are freed from their miserable slavery, they immediately forget God and turn to such wretched activities as building themselves a golden calf to worship. How guillaume-de-germain-303020 (1)insane is that?! And yet, I do the same thing. I am SO quick to forget what God has done for me. Taking the time to remember what God has done for you in the past is an invaluable way to keep your faith strong and to keep you well connected to your maker.

It is true that sometimes we need to leave the past behind. You’ve been forgiven for your sins and there are some memories we need to let go of in order to move on. But there are also countless memories we are way too quick to forget. Reminiscing over past joys is such a free, easy activity that can really have so many benefits!

I’d like to challenge you to remind a friend of a shared memory with him/her–just to Image result for smiley facemake the two of you smile, or to thank God for something he’s done in your past that you sometimes forget, or to wake up in the morning (and, if you’re human, you’ll sometimes wake up grumpy) and to immediately consider a good memory so that you can start the morning with a smile. Why not take advantage of the advantages of memories?

Also, I’d love for you to comment on the post with a good memory or just your thoughts 🙂

Regarding following your heart…where does it lead?

Image result for follow your heartSitting at the dinner table the other night, my dad mentioned how our school system of taking the summer off can negatively affect children’s expectations about life. Kids grow up expecting to use the summer for “fun” and this expectation of the summer being simply for that purpose leads him to struggle at work. When he spends his summer putting in normal hours he feels like things aren’t the way things are “supposed to be,” he feels like it’s time for him to be having fun–like he deserves this chance at play.

Just because you recognize some blatant influences of culture doesn’t mean you’re safe from its influences. Just because you realize the over-the-top, self-serving aspects of advertising (you recognize sex sells, you see that the product claims to satisfy your deepest desires, you understand some of the manipulative devises) doesn’t mean it doesn’t change the way you think. Just knowing it’s there doesn’t shield you. I believe our culture affects us more than we know. It tells us we deserve to–and therefore always Book, Bored, College, Education, Female, Girl, Learnshould–feel good. If something doesn’t feel good, we shouldn’t do it. We see this in the big picture, but do we realize how this attitude affects us as it sifts into the less obvious places? What about your spiritual life?

I will admit that I am guilty of setting aside my Bible because it isn’t as entertaining as other things, cutting prayer time short because I’m just not “feeling” it, and turning down a chance to love a neighbor simply because I don’t want to spend my precious time on someone else. In these areas I have accepted culture’s message and have missed chances to make my life count.

In considering this, I was inspired by what a fellow blogger said in one of his posts: “Our feelings will lie to us. That is why we need the facts of the Bible and the Holy Spirit in our lives to lead our faith walk.” Faith is not a feeling. Faith is an action, a lifestyle, a choice, and a commitment. It is something we need to work at, even when we aren’t “feeling” it.

warning-2284170_1920Now I don’t want to be that stony, beat-you-over-the-head-with-the-Bible (or any other available object, for that matter) Christian who immediately proclaims that God will bring down judgement on you if you do anything fun or enjoyable. I mean, seriously, folks, you’ve read my posts; I’m a hard-core believer that life should be brimming with joy and that we can find contentment, hope, and joy in every single situation–even at work 😉 I’m a tell-tale fun-lover.

So how do we balance this? My friend continues his thought in a way that allows for feelings, but places them in perspective: “Feelings can take a backseat. That’s not saying we shouldn’t have emotions at all, emotions are what helps us connect with each other. They make us human. But emotions shouldn’t be the decision maker in our faith and beliefs.”

Quoting a pastor from Moody Radio, my fellow blogger stated these factors should influence decision-making in the following order: Fact, followed by Faith, followed by Feelings. Feelings are in there, but they are at the end. While culture might tell us otherwise, it is important to open our eyes wide to what culture is communicating and, in doing so, to do a systems check–making sure we are oriented the way we want to be.

hand heart bracelet fashion accessories silhouette sea water reflection sunset outdoor landscape view Ecclesiastes 11:9 explains it well: “You who are young, be happy while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment.” It is not wrong to follow your heart–so long as you aren’t following your heart to places that will bring judgement upon yourself. You were born with a sinful desire; not everything you feel like doing will be the right thing. 

Joshua Harris again states this clearly: “‘The heart is deceitful above all things…’ we read in Jeremiah 17:9. ‘Who can know it?’ Though the advice of many well-meaning people today is to ‘follow your heart,’ the Bible warns that your heart can lead you in wrong, even deadly, directions. Our hearts lie. Something can ‘feel’ right and be completely wrong.”

Culture has been wrong before. I’m not asking you to become emotionless, but I am challenging you to consider what your emotions are prompting you to do before you act on it. And I want to remind you that you have control over your feelings.

Please share your thoughts. I would like to know your reactions 🙂Image may contain: 11 people, people smiling, outdoor

Also, though long, I like to believe it proves interesting and a worthwhile read…here’s a link to my testimony of how pursuing happy feelings almost led to suicide and the lesson I learned from it.

P.s. So that you don’t have to constantly question whether or not you may have missed one of my essential posts, you should just hit the “follow” button on the top left of the page. That way you’ll be notified when I post a new post 🙂

 

Still waiting for life to start…: Finding contentment right now

watch clock time hour minute second men accessory bracelet “I’m going to college to be a… *looks both directions nervously, leans in close and whispers in a foreboding, secretive tone*…a garbage truck driver!” 

As a high school senior and college freshmen, I did not know what I wanted to major in nor did I know what I wanted to do with my life (and even currently as a college junior at Cornerstone University, while I have major figured out, I’m still stuck on the “life” part…). And yet these two questions seemed to be the FAQ of FAQs! They were innocent small talk conversation pieces but the constant questioning made me feel a great amount of pressure. These questions made me feel like like I wasn’t living right if I didn’t have an answer. I got so sick of being asked what I was majoring in and what I wanted to do with my life that I prepared to answer with the beginning quote–just to get people off my case!

sea ocean water mountain highland nature landscape sky clouds golden gate bridge travel view Young adulthood is commonly known as the bridge. We’re moving from being kids to being adults in a crazy world. Our focus is on our future: our future careers, our future relationships, our future plans. Our culture seems to shove down young adult’s throats the focus of the future…which isn’t entirely bad. However, like everything else in life, we need balance. Too much future focus can cause us to be so involved in the future that we aren’t enjoying the right now. To get too caught up in the future is to undermine current contentment. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 offers the idea of “seasons.” Life has it’s different seasons that we pass through each has it’s goods and bads. Getting the next joy involves giving up a current joy–which is the way life works, and it’s a good thing–in it’s proper time. But what good is the current joy if you’re not appreciating it right now, while you have it? Sure, right now you might not have the stability of that career, house, family, etc., but you have access to a freedom and flexibility right now that you won’t have when you’ve settled into each of those things. At college you have the opportunity to spend 24 hrs/day in the midst of young adults all in a similar boat as you. 

Image result for seasonsJoshua Harris says it well: “Just as spring’s role is different from that of fall, so each season of our lives has a different emphasis, focus, and beauty. One is not better than another; each season yields its own unique treasures…God has many wonderful experiences He wants to give us, but He also assigns these experiences to particular seasons of our life. (italics mine)” If we want to learn contentment, we need to start right now–because if today’s blessings aren’t making you happy, tomorrow’s won’t either. 

I often find myself waiting. Waiting for something big to happen. Waiting for my future to arrive. Waiting for my life to start. I go through high school, waiting to make it through college. I go to college waiting to make it through the semester. I go through summer waiting to make it back to school. I’m waiting for my career. Waiting to have a family of my own. Waiting until I have my future planned out. Once I check all of these things that is when my life is going to start. That is when I’m going to really live. And that is when I’ll actually be content.

That’s what I believe. Not because it’s true, but because it’s what culture tells me and I haven’t questioned it until recently. Studying communication teaches us to question what we unconsciously accept. It gives us control because it makes us more aware of what we are taking for granted or what we are accepting as true.green grass lawn field nature outdoor road travel horizon sky

Honestly, I think the belief that one’s life is really on the horizon and has yet to truly start, is what a lot of young people believe, whether or not they realize it. We are told to work so hard towards the future that we expect that it is the future that will provide us the contentment and fulfillment that we are searching for right now. When we feel like life is missing something right now, we push it off, believing the future will fulfill us.

But life isn’t going to get inherently “better.” It’s not going to randomly “start” when you graduate or get married or get that job or anything else. Today is the first day of the rest of your life and the blessings you have today are different from the blessings that you are going to have later. This current season of your life has unique blessings. Please, please don’t be so busy staring off into space, waiting, that you ignore these blessings.

people girl alone sitting wood reading book bible blur And if you are discontent right now, there may be a reason for that. You might want to consider how you are living your life and what you are living for right now. I believe if you truly commit your life to Christ, you will be capable of finding fulfillment during any stage of your life–even the right here, right now without that dream spouse, dream career, or dream family. Your life has already started.

Please feel free to leave comments. I love hearing from readers and would appreciate hearing your thoughts 🙂